just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
