so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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