Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
