Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
