Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
