every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
