Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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