My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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