All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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