...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
