Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dignity is for republicans.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
this hospital has no fireball
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
