Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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