One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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