Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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