your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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