We named our party play list daddy issues
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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