btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
