glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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