I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize