I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
What a dumb baby whore.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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