This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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