I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize