Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
