dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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