i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
