so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
