But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
