He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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