Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
