he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize