I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize