Me. At least after what I've been through.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
