I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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