I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
accomplished twins. life is a go
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
