So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
