ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize