Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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