About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
