just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
