I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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