Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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