i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
