I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Welp...herpes.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
