I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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