Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize