so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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