I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
