After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
