apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
