Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
