Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize