The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
