I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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