the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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