The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
