I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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