wanna go halves on a baby?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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