Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
