My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
