I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Randomize
