I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
