I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
