No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
