M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
