Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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