It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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