I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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