Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
