I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
my liver is dry heaving
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
