I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
