I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
