I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
